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Forever, Infinity Squared

To: Donnie ~ From: Cynthia

Dear Donnie,

Our love started with so much hope, so many dreams. It was a fairy tale that took us both by surprise. It blossomed into a love that was bonded and true. My Darling, my heart and soul belong to you. My destiny belongs in your hands.

Our memories are filled with so much joy and so much pain. In my heart I know the joy outweighs the pain. I want to embrace the joy and hold it close to my heart where it can live forever. I want to remember the pain as a lesson, a lesson of how much we almost lost. A lesson of life to be lived with a memory of how not to be. You and I have once more opened the door of conversation. I want to know the man you truly are. Donnie, we can never hide from each other again. This journey I ask you to walk with me will be joyous at times and rough. I don't offer you perfection. I offer you me, a woman who has weakness. As long as we can share, and I can show you me (the true me) I feel strong.

My love, I don't know how we are going to work thru our problems - I mean the mechanics of it, but I want you to know I am here for the long haul. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I want yours to be the first face I see when I awake and the last when I close my eyes to sleep. The last to hold my hand when I die.

I have never doubted my love for you, and have never doubted the love you have for me. How do you think I have survived the last 4 months? I had to leave you because knowing that love and not being able to express it or see it in your eyes was creating such sorrow in me. I felt like I was dieing inside. Your love has filled me with such warmth, such light, and to not be able to truly experience it was the darkest hour of my life.

I need you. I need to feel you in my arms. You don't know how hard this is to admit to you. For I haven't admitted needing anyone in so long. Especially not to myself. It really makes me feel vulnerable. Maybe with your help I wont have to feel this way any longer. I do need you Donnie, as surely as I need to take my next breath.

I need us to hold hands and laugh together, love together, and also to cry together. My life is joined with yours my love. Not for the present but for the past and the future. Especially for the future. We are separated by so much distance but, Donnie, my love, you live in my heart. You are never far. All I have to do is think of you and you are here.

I wish I could offer you promises. I wish I could paint a future with no uncertainties. But I have none to offer. I have no idea what the future holds for us. I just know I want us to experience it together. I think it will be an adventure. Even as I write the word adventure I know what it means. We have shared so many, and they have never had to be earth shaking. They are the little ones that have climbed into our hearts and found a home. They are the kind that have created the sweetest memories. They are the kind that only you and I can share and appreciate. That's where my love for you comes from. That and knowing so many new memories await.

Donnie, sometimes the thought of you takes my breath away with passion, sometimes I think of you and it's like the cleanest breath I have ever experienced, it calms and soothes me. Sometimes, it's like not breathing at all, it's like a long exhale and that's when I'm so sure of our love. That's when I'm sure it's true and lasting. And it's not even when I think of you, it's when I think of us. But it's really not a thought either it's a presence, it's a sureness.

I am trying to be patient, and you know I'm probably the most impatient person in the world. I don't care how long it takes for us to work this out because I am so sure of the outcome. For me the outcome is a life of happiness.

My Darling, come dance with me for the rest of our lives.



Love Always,

Forever, Infinity, Squared

 

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